I'm learning, too...

Dear Timothy,

You are amazing. Full stop. You figured out early enough how to hold your own bottle. You crawl everywhere and get into some pretty tight spaces. You can pull yourself up. You know how to chew food - even with so few teeth. You smile and laugh like crazy, and you're a cute little mimic when you want to be. And you make some really fun sounds.

But there's one thing you haven't learned yet: to wait patiently for your food. The whole eating thing is something that we do at least 3 times a day, if not more. It's always the same routine: I pop you in your high chair, tie a bib around your neck and give you some puffs to chew on while I prep the rest of your food. You know this; you've done this so many times. But you get so anxious to eat that you start making noise. Sometimes you scream, and other times you cry. And once I start feeding you, it's like the food can't come fast enough, so you start screaming/crying between bites. It's like I'm starving you or you've never eaten before in the almost full year since you were born.

Impatient much? The food is coming; it has always come. And it will continue to come whenever I put you in your high chair.

One day recently, I asked myself how a child as smart as you could so easily forget that the food will always come. After all, you can recall how to make noise with the door stopper, you can put food in your own mouth with about 85% accuracy, and you know that your reflection is your reflection and not another baby. So what's so different when it comes to food?

That's when I heard it: "You do the exact same thing."

I knew exactly whose Voice that was, and I knew exactly what He meant.

Timothy, your Papa and I are finding ourselves in a place of unknowns right now. Decisions will need to be made at some point, but other pieces need to fall into place first, and we need more information.

So we wait.

We've both been here before, Papa and I. And every single time, things have worked out so much better than we could have imagined, because we believe in a God who looks out for us and helps us. And yet, every single time I even remotely sense there's an unknown on the horizon, my go-to is to worry, as if God has never come through for us before.

Whether we like it or not, we are human. And forgetful. But the neat thing is that God is patient. He will continue to work things out for our good (Romans 8:28), whether or not we believe it.

And yes, I will continue to feed you. Well, until you figure out how to feed yourself; then you're on your own.

Love always,

Mama.