Dear Timothy,
Shortly after you turned one, the world stopped. All because of a tiny - yet powerful - virus.
It feels like we’ve been waiting for things to start moving again ever since.
The virus may not have affected our family as badly as others, but it has still taken a toll. When the shutdowns/lockdowns/stay at home orders started, I honestly felt disoriented, anxious, depressed, and I wonder if this was how the world was going to end. I'm sure you sensed how I was feeling and heard your Papa and I talking things through. We stayed inside more, you played alone a lot, and you didn't get to know your cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents - as well as our friends - as well as we would have liked. As a result, you're uneasy around big crowds, and you really don't like it if a stranger gets too close. And you're still trying to figure out how to interact with people closer to your own size.
But at the same time, I'm thankful that you likely won't remember much about this past year. I'm also thankful that you have been able to find reasons to really laugh and ways to enjoy yourself, without the playgrounds, swimming pools, library programs, and other kids. You also bring joy to your Papa and I, even for just a moment at a time. I'm grateful that you have a sense of curiosity, a desire to learn and to try new things; it reminds me that, though there are may not-so-good things happening right now as a result of the Virus That Shall Not Be Named, life goes on. And that's a good thing. You're growing, both physically and mentally, and that didn't stop when the world did. Sure, things may not be the way we want them to be, but that doesn't mean we can't sometimes find joy in the hardship.
Life is hard, Not-So-Little-One. It doesn't always go smoothly. It's a lesson you haven't had to learn yet, and hopefully you won't have to learn for a while. Maybe in the meantime, we can learn a thing or two from you about how to handle life's difficulties. I'm constantly amazed at how, when you're frustrated because you can't do something, you show it, but then you try again. And when you finally succeed, you celebrate it, so that we all know you did it! I love the way you are able to re-direct your energy and attention when it is clear you cannot move forward, and you find joy in a new thing. One of my favourite things about you is your belly laugh, and it always results from the simplest things: a ball that was thrown high into the air comes crashing down; Mama and Papa are pretend-sneezing over and over again; you crash into the wall with your trike, and I say, "Bonk!"
You are tenacious, you are flexible, and you find joy in the small things. You're already a champion overcomer of life's challenges. I hope and pray you won't lose that as you get older.
Love always,
Mama.
